Corona and Cash

COVID-19, the Wuhan Flu, Chinese Chough, Corona Virus - THEY ALL CAN SUCK IT!

As you are all aware, this life altering virus has wreaked havoc across the entire planet-and we are doing everything in our power to protect our little boy from its long fingers. Aside from his obvious limitations, Cash also had RSV twice as a baby and is susceptible to long bouts with respiratory illness, so we are being extra careful with him. The only person outside of his immediate family to see him since early March is his "new" nurse Mary. I use quotes around "new" because I don't believe I have introduced you to Mary before but let me tell you, since our move to Boerne she has been a godsend. We are so very lucky to have her and Cash of course is smitten. This week makes a full year since she joined us.

Aside from the virus and all that stress we have a new teen driver in the house! Whoa nelly that's thrown us for a loop! Now, she hasn't been able to drive much due to shelter-in-place rules but it has been nice prior to that when Savy was able to take Cash to school or go run an errand for us. So far so good with respect to Savy's driving skills, although we did install a little gadget called a Bouncie to track her every move while she's out on the road. (Great product btw).

Let's see, Kim and I both started new jobs. Kimberleys was a bit of a lateral move but did put her on payroll W2 which hasn't been the case in almost 20 years! Big change from being self-employed for sure, but it had too great of benefits to pass up. The job is worth having for the insurance alone. I on the other hand jumped into something completely new and joined Texas Ranch Sales as an Associate Agent late last summer. Both experiences have been rewarding if not difficult to launch with the advent of the virus. Hopefully we can begin to maximize our new positions in the coming months. If you'd like to visit my website you can do so at www.SellingRanches.com Tell a friend!

That's about all I've got, oh and Cash still weighs 43 lbs, but getting taller every day. Thanks for checking in yall, be safe prayers to all those hurting during this economic catastrophe. God bless yall!

New Home - New Boy

How y'all doin? Thought I'd update those interested about the latest goings on around here.

• Sold the ranch 3/26/18 
• Moved to Boerne 
• Both kids moved to Boerne ISD schools 

(Savy-Champion HS, 9th   Cash-Cibilo Creek Elementary, 1st)

The move has been spectacular and as much as I hated to give up the beauty and peace of the ranch-Boerne has treated us very well. We still have 7 acres so we can all have some elbow room and at some point we will add a fishing pond and a small vineyard, but enough about the house and the move-let's talk kiddos!

Savy-As usual she has rebounded well from the loss of friends and new surroundings. She had about 8 weeks to end finish the school year at Boerne and I think that time gave her just enough of a chance to meet some friends before summer. Over the summer she decided to pick up golf and wanted to try out for the golf team. Surprised the hell out of me but hey, I wasn't looking forward to another goat raising so we supported her 100%. Turns out the girl is kind of a natural, picked it up pretty quickly, played in some tourneys and miraculously made the golf team with just 2 months of experience. She's not competitive yet, but maybe by the Spring tournaments she will have a chance to tangle on the course. All in all, Savy has adjusted very well and we couldnt be happier with the direction she is headed as a young lady. Almost forgot, she is on a health professions track in HS, and right now says she wants to be an Orthodontist. We shall see.

Cash-Always the man of the hour, $ never misses an opportunity to remind us he should be the focus of all our attention. After ending Kinder with only a rare "bad" day, we were lucky enough to have Mrs. Schillingburg fill in as a summer caretaker for most of the time. She had just been hired by Boerne ISD and we are forever thankful for her help in his transition.

I may be getting ahead of myself however; back in February Cash began to tell us his head hurt, but it seemed to be mentioned mostly when he was in trouble so we didnt take it too seriously at first. After a month of this we began getting him tests. MRI's CatScans etc. The doctors didnt find anything, so we just wrote it off as him using this head hurt thing as a way to explain away his behavior. Sometime in early July, Mrs. S called Kim telling her about $ having a weird look on his face and kind of spacing out in Target. It really freaked her out. Not being there, we didn't think too much about it as he has done this sort of thing in the past. Since we didn't seem overly concerned, she took it in stride. About 2 weeks later during a staycation in Austin, Mrs S tells us Cash had broken out in hives, they took him to the local urgent care clinic and started some meds, but all in all he was still acting fine. We got home the next day and although the hives were still visible, it seemed the meds were doing their job.

One day later, around 8:30 am, it happened. Kimberley had just left for the office while I was on the phone with my dad, I was feeding $ donut holes and he says "No". I look at him, don't think much of it and continue chatting with my dad. Then he tries to get down off the couch and in so doing says "No, I'm fine" and I look over at him. I ask, "Do you need help bubba?" He replies, "No" and proceeds to slide down off the couch to the floor. I'm still talking to my dad and then I realize Cash was laying on his side on the floor and not moving. I ask if he is ok, but no response. Then I roll him over, no response. So I'm still a little confused at this point and give him one more chance to respond, so I give him a little tickle, and that's when I realize-still nothing. Now I panic. I tell my dad bye, pick Cash up and check to see if he was choking-but nothing is in his mouth. I listen for breathing and its shallow. Cash is lifeless and I pick him up, call Kim and have her come back home(she had barely made it out of the neighborhood). I run outside to meet Kim, and within seconds she pulls up to me running down the street with Cash. She calls 911, we plan on meeting them at the Urgent Care about 2 miles away, we arrive and they check his vitals and put him on oxygen. 3 minutes later the ambulance arrives just as Cash begins to come to. I run next door to the pharmacy my friend owns and ask for aspirin-scared I'm going to stroke out or have a heart attack. 5 minutes later he's buckled up in the ambulance and away he and Kimberley go to Methodist Childrens Hospital.

At this point I know this is going to be an overnight at least, so I head home to pack, get Savy home from the golf course and drive to the hospital. Savy is understandably upset. We arrive to a happy little boy and a stressed out mommy, but all in all it seems things are under control. A doctor whose name I cannot pronounce says some things I can barely understand and leaves. He comes back maybe 20 minutes later and all I understand is he is going into surgery for shunt failure. This is what we were afraid of.

Anyhow, fast forward about 3 hours and this is what you get.

Now I don't mean to belittle brain surgery, but I'm tellin ya the boy was pretty much back to his old self in a matter of a few hours. An incredible about face, and one we are so thankful for. He made it easy. Other than some complaints about all the wires and tape on his body he was really good. Momma stayed with him for 2 nights before he was released. Kims dad and my parents had come up during surgery and stayed with us for moral support and shuttling Savy around. If surgery was required-this was the way to do it, with the outcome you hope for, the support you need and a patient who makes all the trouble worth it. I am still shocked at his recovery. 

Since the surgery Cash seems to be in a better mood. He healed well, the hives finally stopped and we are glad that the shunt revision was a success. His appetitie is better and there have been no more complaints about his head hurting. Here is a pic of him about 2-3 weeks after surgery.

So that was our summer. After surgery we just made sure he healed. We healed. School has started again and both kids are doing great. Savy is running for class representative as an unknown because thats how she rolls. Cash has his very first class project due tomorrow on America. He even has to present it. 

Kimberley-Works hard and loves her family

Me-I slack on blog updates. Kimberley and I went to Cabo in late June. I caught a nice marlin. 

We've had a few whiskeys and just started Whole 30 last week. Yuck

Peace and Love Y'all!

Franek out

The Big #5

There was a time I wasn't sure we would be able to celebrate birthdays for Cash. I mean this in both a literal and figurative sense. This may sound dramatic, but I can assure you this was a possibility.

However, we celebrate! We celebrate a warrior who has beaten the odds. We celebrate a family that arose from the ashes of despair, and we celebrate all the little things that we took for granted before this little miracle joined us in this world.

A named this blog "My Son Will Keep Shining". At the time I started this blog it was purely a hope, a wish, a prayer. I come to you today to confirm he has done just that and he does it so well. We still have our down days, but he always seems to find a way to pick us all up and carry him on his shoulders when we need it most. A perfectly warm, bright and brilliant ray of light-Cashton Wyatt Franek is winning and he chose to bring us along on this journey. We are humbled.

On December 14, 2011, we were told by a doctor to begin planning 24/7 nursing care. We were told he would never breathe, eat, walk or communicate. Within 24 hours of being home he was eating on his own. A year later we removed the supplemental oxygen and he has never gone back except when he had a bad respiratory infection almost two years ago.

Walking is proving to be the biggest hurdle, but his mobility is not in question. He can scoot with the best of em! He will roll, army crawl and even stand with minimal assistance these days. Progress is being made daily and for the first time in 5 years we had not one but two physical therapists tell us they see a future with him walking. Assistance will most likely be required, but at this pace of improvement, they see a future where Cash will be on his own two legs, placing one in front of the other getting where he wants to go. This has always been the end game for us, and we know that with continued prayer, hard work and a little luck he will get there!

Communication is, well, um-not a problem. The boy won't shut up! His vocabulary grows daily. I'd guess he learns somewhere between 4-6 words per week, and each month his diction becomes more and more clear. He is not afraid to try saying 2+ syllable words and he is becoming less "self-centered" when talking to others.

Cash genuinely cares for others feelings, apologizing when necessary and demonstrating empathy for his loved ones. Socially he is a rock star; he is friendly, outgoing and has learned to share. He makes friends and can high five like a boss! This kid is a phenom as far as I am concerned and I believe those who truly know him would agree. I shake my head in disbelief at the growth we have seen, it has been nothing short of incredible.

So here we are, birthday #5, it will be a happy day.

Thank you for keeping up with our little miracle and God bless each of you.
(Cashtons birthday is Nov 3, I'm a hair early)


The Franeks

Momma. revisited

I made an entry during September of 2012 about Kimberley and her experience dealing with a newborn who has CP. I was going to post a new entry about yesterdays big doctor visit but after re-reading the post titled "My Wife-His Mother" I've decided to provide an update with regards to it. I hope you enjoy.

You can revisit the old blog entry here, I encourage you to give it another look.
http://prayersforcash.blogspot.com/2012/09/my-wifehis-mother.html


The damned measuring stick keeps getting adjusted. It may be one of the most difficult parts to understand your child's growth. I mean even for a parent of a "normally developing" child, isn't this a pain in the butt? One year at school your kid excels in every way-seemingly without a drop of sweat they breeze through the year with straight A's, a couple 3 pointers and lots of spiritual growth; then the next year you look at them at some point and ask, "Who are you?" "What the hell happened to last years kid?" No? Well, heck I guess it's just me then. There are times when Savy is on a roll, kickin' butt, then all of a sudden BOOM, she just can't get her crap together. We all have our ups and downs I suppose, but typically we kinda know what our children are capable of from one day to the next with rare surprises.

Por ejemplo, Savy tells me she's going to do the high jump in track for school. Now I aint sayin' she can't, but the girl is knee high to a grasshopper on a good day in heels. The typical jumper is long and leggy, tall even and above all else-a real athlete. Savy likes to wear cheerleader uniforms with a bow in her hair. She looks darn good to. She loves football, which doesn't hurt seeing as she will spend 75% of her cheer career watching the game, but she doesn't have to run or hurl herself over a bar taller than her head. Feel me?

Ok,, back to what I was saying, the measuring stick can stick it. One day we see Cash running in his gate trainer across the room, smiling and opening doors and the next day he won't pull his knees up under him to learn to crawl. Meanwhile we have to get him to do his best and hopefully get him mobile. There's a job to do but you never know when your days work is over.

Kimberley, has a long measuring stick, as discussed in the previously mentioned blog entry,
She is methodical, engineer'ish in approach, practical and reliable. She is a rock. Nope, she is a cave. She is made of rock, but has little secret passage ways, caverns and a small opening out front to keep all those twisting tunnels safe. She keeps us all safe. Steady, firm and reliable.

Every couple in a lasting and healthy relationship experiences the handing off of the reins at certain times, taking turns righting the ship and maneuvering the choppy waters of life. Today, I pass the torch.

We will use your measuring stick Kimberley. I will travel your narrows and discover what you will reveal to me, because I know you will keep us safe. You are our children's enveloping arms and I know you know what is best. You are steadfast, deliberate and thoughtful, and I thank you.

I'm going to catch my breath. Still a long ride ahead, and if I've learned anything in this life it's that just as you hit dry land, there's always a rough landing.

I love you.

    

He Is Perfectly And Wonderfully Made

It has been a while. Lots to cover, so lets get to it.

One of my many NY resolutions was to write more, and I've been waiting for a prompt; today, I got it in spades. 

7:12am - I'm holding Cash, waiting for the girls to gather their things before heading off to school, when he points to Kimberleys elliptical machine and says "Me want! Cash go!" I replied, "Sorry bubba but that is for adults." Again he demands to use it and I say, "Cash you have to stand and walk on it, maybe another time." 

Then he says what I have dreaded ever hearing him say. 

"Me legs sick. Doc doc fix."

A punch to my gut is an understatement, I literally wanted to take him to my bed, wrap my arms around him all day and cry. I know it, everyone else knows it, the kids at school certainly don't forget to mention it-but now, he knows it. 

This revelation probably came well before this exchange, but nevertheless, it was verbalized for the first time from son to father and it hurt. Cue sad music. Seriously though, it affected me more than I even thought it would, and it didn't help that the tone he uttered those few words sounded concerned. He knows. 

I have no misconceptions about the physical shortcomings my son has-but there is just something about the notion that his little head has thoughts about them. When most children will be concerned about how long recess is, he is struggling with comprehending why he doesn't get to walk. For a parent, it defines the reality that your baby is growing up, and that he has emotion and concern about something most of us take for granted. 

In the past Cash has said "Me walk", but his request was for you to carry him. Recently he says "Dadda carry Cash." I should've realized this understanding was becoming clear in his mind. At some point it was going to happen but I guess you can never really prepare for the shoe to drop-even though it is falling to the ground right in front of you.

Immediately after this exchange with Cash, Savy and Kim come walking up with all the necessary bags and coats for the day and whisk Cash away to the warming car, but Savy sees my face and as she is just about to step out the door looks back and asks, "Daddy are you crying?" "No I'm fine baby, have a great day!" I say as I hold back a welling tear. I didn't think anyone noticed. I took a couple deep breathes and went about my day, recounting this event every hour or so, wondering about the future. 

Then the questions start 

"Will he ever...?" 

"Are we doing enough?" 

"How much should we push him?" 

"What do I say to him?"

"I should talk to Kim."

"Are these therapists at school trying?"

"I need to ask Savy how she is doing."

"Why are there still Thanksgiving decorations up at the guest house?"

"Should I play this insane Powerball?"

"Will he always have to use a walking device?"

"This dog sheds wayyyy too much."

"It can always be worse."

"This sucks."

"What am I cooking for dinner?"

"Who is picking the kids up from school?"

The last question was answered via text from Kimberley- I am on deck. She thanked me in advance. 

"I should go grocery shopping."

"Will they ever get my bike fixed, and should I call them?"

"If I could burn that fucking wheelchair I would."

"If Cash went to TX State, how the hell would he get around that hilly campus? A&M is flat..STOP!"

Seriously this is how my brain works, and every one of these thoughts popped into my head today. I'm not sure if it is all that unique, but I swear I am never not answering a question I asked myself, so how many questions does Cash have?

1:45pm- I do the grocery thing, I have dinner and the college question answered in my head, and Duke is white. I chose the espresso wood floors, not him. 

2:58pm- I call in Cash' medicines. Nothing crazy, just the typical allergy stuff, but it gets me rethinking this morning. I feel myself getting all "negative nelly" and refuse to allow it, so I think happy thoughts, like Cash running through the quad in San Marcos to get a girls number. I'm golden. 

3:11-I hit the jackpot, going in through the outdoor, I land the one and only handicap space at Cash' school. Thats right, I am about to skip the entire line of cars and by doing so save me upwards of 15 minutes waiting to pick up Cash Money. Clouds part, the birds sing. Winning!

3:20- I see the first little rug rats exit the building, so I hop out and go wait at the front for my lil munchkin. 

3:23- I'm looking for Cash, his wheelchair, his teacher-anything familiar through the crowds and then-I see him! He is in a new gait trainer, one I have never seen before and his sweet teacher is guiding him as he walks through the front doors right to my feet. I just won the Powerball of my life and all the "Will he's?" I could ever ask have been answered. No, not a definitive yes he will walk, but hope. More importantly, that big smile and Caribbean blue eyes were beaming as he said "Me walk! Dadda! Cash walk outside!" His teacher (Mrs. Flink-who is friggin' awesome and deserves all the praise any teacher could ask for-and prayers) says that he has been in his gait trainer for 15 minutes and walked from his classroom to pickup really well. He moved his legs, pushed and got where he knew he had to be. 

It was a miracle. Not the walking, as he has been in a gait trainer many many times-though this may be the longest and seems to be the most productive time in it, but the timing of it. I needed this. He needed this. It was fitting that this little exchange and question we had this morning (and that I had allowed to negatively consume my day) was answered. I would not have normally picked Cash up, but God knew I needed to. He had Kim ask if I could get the kids so that I could witness this little boy be proud of himself and his accomplishment. I got to do it. God gave this moment to me, specifically. There is no other explanation.

3:27pm- I call Kimberley and tell her the good news-

Me:"Hey babe you are not going to believe who walked out of school to meet me in his gait trainer..." 

Cash:"ME!!!"

Kimberley:"HaHaHa! Awe thats so awesome Cash!"

^^^That is literally word for word how it went down. He was so excited to tell his mommy. Who could blame him. He was beaming, and so was I. 

I pick up Savy, tell her Cash' accomplishment and in her usual sweet voice she congratulates him with an added kiss on the cheek. 

9:15pm- Everyone is snoring but me. Typical. I turn on E;60, a series focused on the world of sports and the feel good stories about folks in that business. I DVR it. 

Tonight was a compilation, 3 stories of triumph. The first was about Ernie Johnson, the second about a dog that retrieves bats and the third about a little boy named Liam.

I'm going to review 2 of these stories. I fast forwarded through the golden-retriever vignette. Ernie was first, but I'll get back to him, let's meet Liam. Liam is a hockey fan, has downs-syndrome and beat Leukemia. Total tear jerker and the kid is amazing in so many ways. Certainly a tough little man, cute as a button and a smile that you can't help but want to see more of. He is basically a Bruins mascot and you may have seen him in a viral video about the "Fist-bump Kid". If not, here it is. Fist Bump Kid A beautiful story.

As great as Liam is however, the story that really got me was about Ernie Johnson. The son of a legendary sports announcer, he makes a name for himself-arguably even bigger than his pops. Meanwhile adopts 2 children, has 2 others, beats cancer, loses his dad and then finds out that his first adopted son who had multiple health issues as a small child has been diagnosed with a form of Muscular Dystrophy. The film follows Ernie through his daily routine with his son Michael, how he almost died, is now on a breathing machine and basically illustrates the hardship this family is dealing with while loving this 27 yr old son. Their strength, Michael's love for his dad and the happy nature with which they carry on their daily lives is inspiring. 

But what really got me way down in the feels was one line; one simple line that comes from a man who has experienced every type of loss and pain one could experience.

"He was perfectly and wonderfully made." 

Thank you Ernie, you just made this dads life more clear. 

You can find Ernie's story here.

God bless, everyone. 

Matthew

He's Got Legs

First off, I would be remiss to not mention that I dig me some ZZ Top.

So bubba has grown lots since I last posted. Everything from his hair to his legs are getting longer. We are due a haircut for sure, but those skinny legs are starting to find a purpose. Cash was fitted for AFO's(Ankle Foot Orthotics) a couple weeks ago and he gets them tomorrow! We are pretty excited to get these "magic shoes" on him and see what they can do in shaping his feet and legs as well as assist in his standing.

Last week Cash jumped in his jumper for the first time. A legitimate repetition and extension of both legs with the intention of movement. That's how I define it anyhow. Before last week his jumps were not really intentional or repetitive. So, we are excited! He has found his legs in the jumper as well as on the ground, scooting on his back from one side of the area rug to the other. He has also mastered rolling from left to right as well, which gives him good mobility when reaching for something. I liken it to an alligators "death roll". (Not really but you get the idea).

Sitting up alone still has some work, but he is very close. We can get up to a minute on occasion with him sitting up by himself, which gives us hope he will do it soon. The day I can sit him down with some toys to play with will be a miracle and a blessing. For us, the assumptions most parents make are lofty goals. Baby steps.

His smile is beautiful and refreshing. Every little millimeter of his smile adds fuel to keep pressing on. That toothy smile gives us renewed ambition to provide, love and persevere. We love him to pieces.

Savy started 4th grade yesterday and boy does he know it. Cash and Kimberley walked Savy to school the last two mornings, so he is starting to catch on to the routine. The best part of his day is when he sees her come running out of school at pick up time. He gets all excited and starts pumping those legs trying to run to her. It is a beautiful thing to see their relationship so strong. To be fair, Savy lights up as much as Cash does when she sees him. Kisses to and from each other are the standard greeting.

One other big milestone for Cash is the discontinued requirement to patch his right eye. This means the doc believes his left eye is strong and has good vision. The surgery he had worked like a charm; thank you Dr. Paysee. When we see old pictures of Cash, we always comment how glad we are that crossed eye is gone for good. It hurts me to think how many months his vision was double.

Cash has also been attending church nursery most Sundays. This is a really nice turn of events, and by all accounts both the ladies providing the care and Cash thoroughly enjoy the time. We are hoping to get him into a mothers day out program sometime in the near future. Once sitting up is mastered we will get him some much needed social interaction.

Sorry for the lack of updates, but life speeds by quickly. I know how many of you are interested in this life long race we are running and it still means the world to us that you care. Thank you, and I promise less time before the next post. God bless.   

So Long 2012

We officially survived our first year since the addition of Cash, and did so with flying colors I might add!

My last post was at the end of September, easily the longest stretch without a post. This is probably a good thing, as this blog is more a catharsis for me than anything. That being said, I must be handling and coping with my emotions better these days. Or maybe weve just been too busy for me to think? In either case, its been over 3 months since you last heard from me, so I am prepared to give an update on our hero and villain, as well as the cast of remaining characters in our play of life.

Hero=Cash
I could almost stop there. He is one. He always will be. He defines it, as far as I am concerned. What an amazing little boy he is. So full of laughter and smiles, surprises and curveballs. He continues his therapy 3-4 times per week and always makes his doctor appointments on time. Meanwhile he meets his therapy goals and throws in the occasional "Dadda" or "I bubba" for good measure. He is just now beginning to roll over unprompted, and weve found him on his back a number of times when he left him on his stomach. He hasnt started crawling, or rolling back to front, but his head control and sitting up is coming right along. Long road ahead, but he keeps putting the proverbial foot in front of the other. He makes me proud.

The oxygen is completely a non-concern at this point, though weve added weekly breathing treatments for the slight wheezing he has on occasion. His appetite is undoubtedly Franek. The boy could chew through a bamboo prison I kid you not. Oh, and while speaking of chewing, he has three teeth on the bottom! The tops are not quite there. Preemies are known for having "out of order" teeth ruptures. Stage 3 foods are the staple now with an occasional wafer/toast. The diapers are filling as quickly as his gut.

He has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They speak to me like the blue waters of Roatan. Calm, yet with purpose; Cash can stare a hole through you. I literally get hypnotized at times. His disposition is first rate, and he has avoided any colds so far. RSV shots are on the docket to assist in that venture. His hair is coming in great on top, even long. The back, not so much. Until he sits up on his own, the back of his head will likely not grow much.

It is important to note that he is officially a world traveler! He has now visited two foreign countries and survived a cruise. Those who know us well can attest to the seriousness with which we take travel, so this was a blessing for him to not only join us, but enjoy and tolerate it well. One more blessing to count for sure.

Villain=CP
Its here, its not going anywhere, but it wont consume us anymore than it has. Our new normal includes this barnicle of antagonistic bullshit(Breathe Matthew). However, it does not and will not define Cash or us. Its kind of like having to take work with you on vacation. You know its there. You have to deal with it. How and when you deal with it is up to you, just do yourself a favor and get it done while most others are sleeping so not to disrupt the family time. Get it? Fortunately for us, we love our partners(therapists, nurses), so their visits arent always so clinical. We talk family, politics whatever. Taming the CP is the goal. You cannot kill it. There will never be a day that goes by that I won't think "My son has CP" or "Remember, Cash has a different race to run".

--Whiskey break--

Ok, back. Like I was saying, Cash's differnce is what makes him special. His being special is what gets me through the day. Its an odd position, but one that somehow remedies itself when you allow your head to run the full circle. Its when I stop half way around the bend that I get in trouble. Interestingly, right now anyhow, Cash doesnt seem to mind his foe. He laughs in its face, farts then rolls over and says "I bubba!" How can I get upset over that? I can't.

Heroine(s)=Savanah/Kimberley

I could almost always pair these two up, and even more so now as Savy grows up. She is her mother, no doubt. Not just in looks, but in mannerisms, thought process and attitude. Spittin' image for sure.
Both are amazing with Cash, but lets start with Sissy(Savy).

Sissy got her name by being the big sis. We call Cash, Bubba; Savy is called Sissy. I know what you are thinking, "Somebody likes Urban Cowboy". That was actually an after thought, but I'll take it. Great flick. Savy is doing very well in school, keeps her room decent and takes a shower at least 3 times a week with a little coaxing. I don't understand her avoidance of the shower, cuz as soon as she gets in she doesnt want to get out. Tolstoys War and Peace could be read faster. I'm not kidding, we have to kick her out after 30-40 minutes. We've listened in and have discovered she turns into the director for any given Disney production when she is in her aquatic office. I attribute 30% of our water bill and 15% of the electric bill to her thrice weekly cleaning sessions. We have seen a slight up tick lately in frequency of showering, so the average may be closer to 4 times weekly. Hopefully by the time she hits 5th grade we can count on a near daily occurence, however I am concerned for our pocketbook if that happens.

Speaking of clean, Kimberley maintains her squeaky clean image. Still chugging along growing her business while just as effectively keeping both myself and Savy in line. Her travel schedule has settled down a bit as of late, but for a couple months it seemed she was gone at least 8 days a month. Maybe thats just in my head and its actually 4 days, but in either case, I miss her when she's gone. We are working on that, diligently.

Sticking with the Greek Tragedy theme of the play references Electra=Finances

Speaking of trying to keep Kim off the road, weve recently made several financial decisions. I'll save you the minor details but the big ones include moving, trading in my truck for a small car and a spending freeze on non-essential items. I would encourage everyone reading to call your cell phone, cable, internet and insurance companies; I did, and managed to save $300 a month! These things add up. These changes along with the big stuff have had no affect on our happiness or convenience, but in total amount to tens of thousands a year. We now save more than we spend, which is an amazing feeling. In case you were wondering, we chose the Dave Ramsey method to do this, though I made a couple modifications to the program. Overall though, Dave is a great coach and his books "Total Money Makeover" and "Financial Peace" are easy to understand, direct and effective reads for those serious about a dramatic change in their financial life. We've literally saved as much in the last 6 months as we had the 3 yrs prior. It can be dramatic. The best part is, we can do more good with our savings and not feel so afraid to let more go to charity and the like. Its a great feeling. Enough with my preaching. Finances will have you kill yourself and your mother, if not careful.

__________________________For the first time ever, I just deleted 2 paragraphs of something I wanted to say but didnt. Maybe some day I will________________________________________

2012 sucked for the most part. It was a very tough year. I hope noone tries to tell me otherwise. Something like, "But look how beautiful Cash is, didn't 2012 end up great?" Blah blah blah. It sucked, and it sucked bad. I'm biting my tongue here. The first 5 months were miserable, and that followed two months of complete hell. I pray I never see another year even close to 2012, and my wish for all of you is that you never have to endure something similar. Some of you have, many of you will at some point. All I can say is, have your relationships prepared, have your heart in the right place and hold the fuck on.

I welcome 2013 with open arms, cuz if I can have 12 months close to what I've had the last 3, I'm gonna be sittin' pretty with my girls, my boy and a fruity drink on the beach somewhere.

Here's to hoping 13 is just a number! Cheers to each and everyone one of you. Happy life, happy wife, happy children, healthy bodies and tidy home. God bless you and talk to ya soon!

Pura Vida

Breathtaking...

Most of you have followed our story from day one, and many know the tests that have been put in front of us over the last 11 months. We never know exactly how or when these little tests pop up, but they do and we learn to cope. Adapt. Like Darwin said, the survivors are not necessarily the strongest, but those who willfully adapt.

Over the last two months our medical supply company changed, and we've not been happy about it. New company means retraining, reordering, new delivery times etc etc. The most important of these are the pulse oximeter probes that we wrap around Cash's feet, which plug into the monitor. They keep track of his pulse and oxygen levels.

After a hiccup in delivery, we only received 2 probes which is nearly impossible to stretch out over a month's worth of use. So we adapted. Last night Cash slept without being monitored for the first time in his life. A pacifier for us, to lose this monitoring was nerve busting to say the least. He survived.

The point of this blog is not to mull the details of probes, but to emphasize the point that as a family we have learned to morph and adapt, adjust and change into the new normal. I think we are doing very well.

Savy has been a big concern for us, for obvious reasons. She has the occasional break down at school and home, but for the most part she has been great. Yesterday we met with her new teachers and they gave us a huge compliment. Not only is Savy doing well in school with regards to grades, but they also made note that she avoids drama(Probably already has enough). They continued, saying she is very empathetic, caring for other kids and always lending a hand. What a great thing to hear!! We were so proud.

So we are just trucking along, doing the routine and adjusting into our La Vida Loca. As I type this Cash is having his 4th therapy session this week. He continues to amaze me. What a strong will and headstrong determination he has. I love him so much.

Thank you God for all your blessings. Amen

My Wife/His Mother

The list of reasons why we all love our wives and mothers is sure to be the longest. It is for all these reasons that authors, songwriters, poets and speakers have given so much thought and paper to the subject. To try and make a list for Kimberley would be futile; nothing more than a re-hash of what has already been said. 

The simple fact that only a woman may carry our most precious gifts in life is testament enough to the respect they deserve, have earned and should be given. The list of women who have made the history books or are revered in the scripture are plenty. Many times they give us a perspective in life that could only be defined through the eyes and thoughts of an experienced, responsible woman. 

My wife is no different. On the outside she is tougher than she needs to be. An armour encases her that is nearly impenetrable. I've been lucky enough to get past it, ashave her children. Few people will ever have that pleasure, nor the ability to do so. 

Todays post is about her "inside". That glitter glue that holds her together. At her core, Kimberley is a traditional mother. Her work is important, but she prides herself most on her children. She is firm but fair, kind and reasonable, but has high standards. She smiles the most when around her kids. She has high hopes, big dreams and many goals for anyone in her life, but her children will always have a high bar to clear. 

These traits are all what I admire most about her. In an age of mediocrity, low standards, gray areas and exceptions, Kimberley says no. She wants the best. It is why we fight to keep Savy in private school, push her to want more and have provided the best in care and therapy for Cash. If we had to sell everything to give either of them anything for their education or health, it would be done without thinking twice. 

All of this comes with a price however, and I'm not talking about money this time. To raise your children with this mantra takes effort, time and resilience to stay the course. We are problem solvers, never blaming another and always taking full responsibility. Our methods and measuring stick must change for Cash. Kimberley is having a hard time of it. 

With Savy, its easy: She comes home with an 88 on a spelling test and you ask her if she did her best. The next week we study a few minutes more and poof its a 100. Problem solved. 
Health issues are different, specifically disabilities. If you get sick, you do what you can to get well. Most disease can be fought, sometimes at much cost. Vaccines prevent, eating right drops the pounds and an antibiotic kills the bug. Disabilities, at least CP, cannot be "fixed". For a problem solving mother who believes trying harder and doing your best will get you your reward, this is baffling. 

Savy is becoming more aware of the differences between Cash and other children his age, now 10.5 months. It has been hard for us to explain this to her and having her understand that this is not a punishment of sins, rather a blessing we cannot explain, yet. These conversations are taxing for Kimberley and I, taking our already emotionally charged minds to another stratosphere. Anyone who has dealt with a long term illness or disability can attest that there  are times you are completely consumed by the thoughts of why, how etc. These emotional rollercoasters, I assume, will level off in time as the "new normal" places itself firmly in our everyday lives. I pray. On the other hand, on good days, you don't stop thinking about it, but you cope and manage your way through it. Think about the first time your child drove a car without you, or went on a date. You know how you are thinking about them the whole time they are away, that little worry or concern you cannot let go of until they walk back through the door; this is our good day. 

We are hypersensitive to all of Cash's needs. If Savy has a bump or bruise, we look, apply the band-aid and tell her to get over it. Cash is another matter. I'll give you an example. CP kids work so hard to move, and the effort to make a movement takes more energy and time than most. There are times Cash will be in a completely relaxed state, recharging his batteries if you will, while just staring at you. This happened last night while Kim took Cash for a walk. She came back within 5 minutes upset and beside herself. Crying, she explained that he seemed distant and blank. Her time is valuable with Cash and that he wasn't having an "interactive" time with her, hurt her feelings. She asked if there was something wrong with him. Is the shunt blocked? Had the surgery gone wrong? Will he not be able to communicate with us? Questions that are hard to ask, much less answer. I explained that he has these moments and why. She should not worry, but my words can only ease the concern, not make it go away. 

We have a lot in front of us, and the how's, why's and worry will continue, possibly forever.
We can learn to cope and measure Cash by another stick, and he will make progress,as he already has. We will communicate, no telling exactly how just yet. Maybe he will be a writer, or maybe he will just smile a lot, but one thing is for sure; no one will ever understand our son like we will. 

Kimberley is having a rough time, it is to be expected; she will adapt. Her standards will remain high, but how she grades the report will have to change. We must not jump to conclusions, no matter how much we need answers. Savy must remain a priority and not allow her to get lost in our shortcomings and stress, all the while including her in our journey to understanding.

Meanwhile, Cash will rest, grow and become stronger; laughing and smiling when he deems fit.  

Kimberley,
I want you to always know you are not on your own. I will always be here for you, as will Savy.
Find your peace in knowing you have been chosen to care for a miracle. When I get down, I look at him and think of 11/4/11; he has come so far, so have we. Much too far to give credit only to health providors and our efforts. God is working in him and us. We must let him continue to do so. I would not want anyone else to walk this path with me. Remember the picture I made for you? Its a mountain in front of us, but we get to the top by climbing the hills.

I love you,
Matthew 


Here are some verses I find helpful:

Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me

1 Peter 4:1 Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin...

Surgery...again

Not as big of a deal, but still a surgery.

Cash has had a hernia since birth that needs to be corrected. It has also prevented one testicle from dropping. Then theres the old circumcision, put on hold til now. These three minor procedures will begin at 8:15am Friday Sept 14, 2012.

The only part we are really worried about is that he will be put under, and will be assisted with O2.
This may cause him to need O2 assistance for a day or two after. We are just nervous about taking steps backwards in this department. He is still a little shaky in his O2 levels.

The surgery is scheduled overnight, but they will release him if doing well, the same day.
Bubba aint gonna be a happy camper the next few days, thats for sure. Thankfully we have our outstanding nurse coming Saturday to help us the first day with cleaning incisions and keeping Cash comfortable.

So, it looks like this weekend will be football overload while we care for our little boy. Here's to hoping we don't have any complications or additional surgeries for at least a year. Thanks for your prayers in advance!

Cashtons Daddy

My Biggest Fear...

I was asked recently what my biggest fear for Cash is.

Aside from losing him, here was my response and explanation.

My biggest fear for Cash is that he will never get to experience love. The kind you have with your spouse/significant other. Therapy, Special Education, wheelchairs, even surgery do not scare me as much as the possibility Cash never finds love, the romantic kind. A broken heart is better than to never have been loved at all, right?

As a parent, we wish all these things for our kids, many of which I've found to be more for me than him. To see him suit up for a game, or get stuck in the mud at the bay; run across a field chasing after a dove or play hide and seek with his best friend. These are what little kids do, and I want that for him. That being said, there are lots of kids who have never done some of those things, I'm sure there are many who haven't done a one thing mentioned and they live happy fulfilling lives, but what if they never experienced falling in love? I couldn't imagine.

When I was younger, I always had a girl on my mind; he doesn't necessarily need the "always", but it would be tough to see him "never" have that thought or feeling. Worse yet, he has those feelings but they are not returned. Will he remain constantly heart broken and never "good enough" to be considered a worthy partner in life? Will a young lady ever look at my son and see a man, and not just one to be cared for, but as a lover, partner and potential father; all that goes with a life with someone you love.

We just assume this will happen at some point for our kids right? I mean, when was the last time you looked at your child and thought, "I really am concerned that someone may never love you." It's heartbreaking, no?
We always look at them and think, "I hope you live up to your potential and get straight A's," or "You look just like your mother, and you have her quick wit." Meanwhile they are jabbering about their day or what just happened on TV, but you are thinking all these thoughts about how perfect they are, or depending on the day, how much they frustrate you because they cannot seem to turn the damn lights off in any room at any time ever!!!

Regardless, we all think these random thoughts, but never in the last 8 yrs of Savy's life have I looked at her and thought, "Will someone be able to fall in love with her? Will she experience the beauty of a loving relationship? A family? A true love?" In fact its just the opposite for me when I watch Savy talk. I'm thinking, "This girl is gonna have to beat the guys off with a stick! She is awesome!" You see, I think the same things about Cash, cuz he is awesome too. He's adorable, and I'm sure he will dazzle the ladies with his sky blue eyes, but after they get past those windows to his soul will they think, "What a cute guy, I'll always be here as his friend to help him." or will they think, "I can love this man."

I know it seems like I am rambling a bit, and to be honest I am, but its my fear. I was asked.

Pics Galore!

Some old, some new; all are precious. Enjoy!

Couple videos at the bottom!

Now the vids...

There will be more of this sort of post in the future, as I have finally uploaded all my phone pics on my computer.

Cashtons Grace Foundation is coming along, and the Facebook fan page is up as well. The website, although not finished yet, should be live by September first so we can get to helping all those preemie parents who feel lost and confused.

Thanks for visiting! Chat soon.

God Bless!

The Teeter Totter

It has been said, "If you love someone set them free..." you know the line.
The problem for me is I really don't want to have to hunt them down. The setting free part is comendable, but what if they don't come back? Or if they do, what if they are different?

I think this is the reason so many parents allow their children to move back in after college(and I'm not talking about a short time while looking for work etc, I'm talking about the 25 yr old who never left and mom still folds his laundry).

Todays post is about my sweet little daughter Savy. Oh man has she grown up a bunch in the last year or two, and I'm having a real problem with it. For the most part, I think its due to Cash. Any newborn needs attention, they need care and love, even coddling and extra concern; but with Cash I worry about him more than I ever did Savy. This is all understandable to most, and I don't apologize for being overprotective of him, but how is this translating to my other child?

I'm left-handed, in the "right" frame of my mind, so I think more in overlapping circles than compartmentalized squares. Savy is left-handed, and 8. Sometimes we are so in line with our thoughts, and other times I feel like a satellite flung out, about to hit the point where I shoot back like a rubberband towards earth just as she's headed towards me the other direction. We pass quickly and then, poof, we cannot even see each other.

So I've been thinking about all this, how our talking about Cash this and Cash that and no I'm sorry we cannot do that because we have a doctors appointment for Cash or the multitude of I forgots presumably due to 99% of my brain mulling over Cash stuff. Guilty. Very guilty everytime it happens.
Now though, she is keeping score and I'm afraid I'm down at least a couple touchdowns.

We bring it back to Savy as much as possible, even taking her on our once Date Nights so she feels special and not forgotten. Her summer was extraordinarily busy with lots of great visits, camps etc, all focused on making sure she wasn't just sitting in doctors offices or therapy sessions watching Cash. I think we did a good job.

But I am reminded of the story my mother has told me countless times about my brother Gerald not long after he came home. Mom asked her 4 yr old(me) to sit with him while she made lunch just a few steps away, then it happened, a blood curdling scream straight from her newborns lips. She darted back to see what was the matter, and I had Geralds fingers clamped between my teeth. I was not letting go. After he settled down, she asked me why, and I said, "I hate him, he took my mommy."

This is all fairly common between siblings, nothing to crazy, but the point is, I was able to get my frustration out and tell my mother why I was angry. Savy has never had that opportunity. Her situation is different, older than I was for sure, but more importantly, she knew he could "break" or maybe a step further, "he was broken already, and needed to be fixed". So out of her good nature, she had to suppress any of those feelings.

This past Sunday Kimbeley left for an out of town job, coming back Tuesday night. Within seconds of her walking in the door, Savy makes it clear she wants her mommy back, even saying to me "I wish you and Cash were not here, and I could snuggle with mommy." I guess she symbolically bit his fingers.

Is it the love she has for her mother, or anxiety from lack of attachment that frustrated her. Are Savy and I butting heads for which reason? Will this question be asked when she goes off to college ? Jealousy? Just growing pains and nothing more? I'm at a loss.

One thing I know for sure, I finally know the answer to how parents love their children diefferently. Its very weird to say you love your kids the same, but at the same time different. Volumes of pages could be written just describing how this works, exists and ultimately benefits each child. It is nearly impossible to really explain, but as a parent you just nod your head and agree.

We don't mean to, and don't really want to, it just is. How we demonstrate this balancing act is kind of like sitting on a teeter totter with your kid. It goes up and down, you doing the majority of the work, but nevertheless it rocks back and forth. One day your kid is up and one day they are down, and same to you; but put another kid of a different weight on the other end and it takes a different amount of effort. I hope I balance the love I have with both, I think I do anyhow. As the parent on one side of that teeter, you just have to make sure the kid waiting their turn doesnt see their siblings totter go higher; or you risk getting scolded, or worse.

To tie all this together, I think Savy is growing up beautifully. I genuinely like her and guess she will have many friends. She has a great demeaner. So we've done something right so far. That being said, I have to let the rope out a little further, while making sure that when she looks back she sees me watching her; all the while, holding Cash.

When I finally have to set her free, I hope she comes back. More importantly, I hope she comes back happy and grateful for the sacrifices her parents made. One thing is for sure, I must let her know how grateful we are for the sacrifices she has and will continue to make. Until then I'll keep the teeter tottering, loving both my kids to the best of my ability. Maybe we all will get through this rough patch as we blaze this path none of us have ever walked before.

I love you Savy. Thank you for everything! 

My Son Has Cerebral Palsy

At exactly 1:17 pm, Thursday July 26th, 2012 my son was officially diagnosed with CP. At 1:18 pm, I was absolutely resolute to not allow this to prevent my child from being the best he can be while coping with his condition.

Since December 2011 we knew this was the most likely outcome of Cashton's early arrival.

Cerebral palsy (CP) is an umbrella term encompassing a group of non-progressive,^[1][2] non-contagious motor conditions that cause physical disability in human development, chiefly in the various areas of body movement. Cerebral palsy is caused by damage to the motor control centers of the developing brain and can occur during pregnancy, during childbirth or after birth up to about age three.^[4][5] Resulting limits in movement and posture cause activity limitation and are often accompanied by disturbances of sensation, depth perception and other sight-based perceptual problems, communication ability; impairments can also be found in cognition, and epilepsy is found in about one-third of cases. CP, no matter what the type, is often accompanied by secondary musculoskeletal problems that arise as a result of the underlying etiology.

We have been blessed with a gorgeous child, who has brought so much joy to us already, but needs us more than ever. His mother and I will provide anything that helps, no matter the cost; but most importantly, will keep giving him all the love he needs to master every milestone the Lord allows him.
Savanah, his big sister, will hug, kiss and play with him like she always has-she is his best friend.

I am heartbroken.

The Stocking...

Kimberley and I enjoy having breakfast together. Savy watches Cash, or I should say, Cash watches Savy. Anyhow, it gives us time to reconnect and get the day started right, and gives us another opportunity to share thoughts about our kiddos.

This mornings chat was a good one, so I wanted to post it as soon as possible, preserving our thoughts and feelings for our future reflection.

Kim: So yesterday on the way home from work I was thinking about when I will decorate for Christmas.(Yes, K is a control freak/planner. We are going on a family trip the day after Turkey day, the normal time she decorates the house for Christmas) She starts tearing up. K: I remember packing up after Christmas last year and when I Put Cashton's stocking away, I cried and prayed as I folded it up. Me: It was tough not having him home last year, wasn't it? Crying she says K: Yes, but I wasn't sure he would be with us this year. I thought about how hard it would be to open up the boxes and find his stocking if we had lost him. (I sat there speechless) Choked up Me: That prayer has been answered, hasn't it? K: Yes, it has.

We hugged.

I love how close these feelings and talks make us. We cannot believe we are getting so close to his first birthday; miracles do happen, everyday.

Have a great weekend everyone!

One Mans Small Is Another Mans Big

They tell you when you start PT or visit with the Neurologist that improvement or change comes in baby steps. You will nod your head in agreement, but hope that the developmental milestones come sooner rather than later. Many times they do. Sometimes they don't.

Cash has now been receiving therapy for about 6 weeks. The first few times are pretty tough to see. Your parental instinct to comfort your baby is strong, and each time he cries you want to jump up and say "Stop!". You know whats best for him, so you allow it to continue. The therapist is pushing your child to do their best and that sometimes means a few tears. I equate it to an adult working out and grunting. It's no fun, but you know whats necessary for you to acheive your goals.

Four times a week, I witness my son screaming, breathing hard and the tears roll down his cheeks. Its just short of miserable, but the end goal makes it worth it. Our therapists are great, and they give Cash time to recover and after a bit, even they know when to say when. We are lucky to have them, good therapists are hard to find.

My pointing this out is not to gain sympathy, but to express how tough these days can be, sometimes. Then there are those amazing moments, like when your child lifts his head and turns it while on his belly. Most parents enjoy this as a typical milestone, expecting it to come in time. We may appreciate it more than most, considering it took about 40 hrs of therapy to reach that goal. Between the therapists four, one hour visits and our additional 30 min to hour workout we give Cash each day, it adds up. Think about Crossfit, or some other hardcore workout, then apply it to a 4 month old(corrected age) and consider it 7 days a week. Sometimes even more. It's a commitment, no doubt.

The little victories that we as parents experience with our children are memorable. The first crawl, the first bite, the first word etc. As a parent of a child with special needs, we get excited when the leg is moved up, before the crawl. One mans small, is another mans big.

Kimberley pulled out the first multiple head rotation while on his belly the other day. I'm glad it happened on her watch, I know that sometimes she feels a little in the dark in regards to therapy.
When these little miracles happen, I always go back to Cash' birth, the viability test and when the nurses started calling Cash Rocky. We've come a long way, but have a long road ahead.

I pray for the strength on those days I don't want to make the drive to PT, or those weeks of seemingly no change, to keep it up and stay positive. I guess I'll just hold my little warrior and wait for his smile, its better than coffee or a red bull. Cash provides the motivation, does the work and manages the shortcomings; all I have to do is encorage him. My job is easy.

The O2 dilemma

So it goes without saying that we want to get rid of the O2. The cumbersome cords for the pusle oximeter, air tube and tank slow us down, irritate him and prevent easy travel. That being said, its tough for us hypersensitive parents to break the chain.

Cash is constantly pulling on the nasal canula, rubbing his nose and getting ticked off by the uncomfortableness of it all. I couldn't imagine. On the flip side, Kim, Savy and I are always worried about the tube getting pinched, the pusle ox having power, the tank leaking or falling etc... Its a pain in the rumpus!

We are trying to keep the O2 off Cash as much as possible, without tiring him out. Usually thats about 5 hrs a day. Sometimes when we dont have OT or PT we can pull off 8 hrs. We really need to get him to a full day before July 5, our next OCRG test, but thats probably not gonna happen. It is what it is.

To give you an idea, think about how much it takes to move a newborn; all the stuff you gotta load up in the car. All the prep thats needed and checklists to run through for a "normal" kid grows by 50%.
So you got the usual stuff; baby bag and all the stuff in it, strollers, car seats, toys, pacifier etc. Then add to that an air tank, a pulse oximeter, the cords for both, a tank carrier, placement of it all, proper placement of the nasal canula, tape for the nasal canula, the air tank key and make sure there's enough O2 in the tank to last the entire trip. Then while traveling, hearing the monitor beeping will drive ya nuts! Like I said, a real pain. I couldn't imagine those who must do more than us, with wheelchairs etc.
God bless them all.

My youngest brother is getting hitched next weekend, and we are making the trip down to the ceremony, but Kim and the kids are coming back immediately afterwards strictly due to the O2 and pulse ox monitor. The monitor beeps everytime he yawns, needs to burp, passes gas or the sensor is hardly touched. This amount of beeps would drive a hotel guest crazy, and since the volume cannot be lowered, it would keep not just us up all night, but our hotel neighbors as well. So it goes, just gotta cope.

My point is not to whine about the situation, but to explain why we gotta get him off this O2 assistance. As soon as we do, we are gonna start making some road trips. I'm seeing a tank free Cashmonster in Austin, eating at a taco trailer and walking south Congress. Maybe taking a train ride at Zilker. Going to the Houston zoo or seeing the coast for the first time. I cannot wait to explore the world with him, introducing him to more than just a doctors office, hospital or our living room.

The time will come when we can sleep all night, wake up refreshed and ready to take on his other challenges without being exhausted from the rough nights sleep before. The time will come when we can have someone watch him and not be scared by seeing the extra baggage he comes with. The time will come. Patience. Breathe.

I slept for shit last night. Ha!


On the bright side, Cash loves to play. His nurse Ms. Rhonda has taught him to play peek a boo. Here is a quick clip of him being a ham.

Let The Love Flow

Well I'm happy to report that the family is finally getting into a stable routine, much happier and learning how best to cope with the challenges ahead! This post will all be rainbows and butterflies. Thank God!

So since my last post we have had 3 doctor, 6 therapy and 2 eval appointments for Cash. In total, starting next week we will have 16 therapy and 3 doc appointments scheduled each month for at least 2 years, which is more than a part time job by itself. Thankfully we have the greatest nurse to help me, and its summer for Savy allowing for more flexibility.

The oxygen situation has improved tremendously, and after our next test on July 5th, I'd be surprised if he's still needing it, at least not more than an as needed basis.

Cash is such a strong little boy. He goes through therapy fighting the whole way. Its humbling to say the least. So much character in such a little man. His smile is beautiful, and he is starting to gigle a little bit. Oh, and he gives us kisses. The sloppiest, wettest goodness anyone could wish for! I admit, I cried like a 5 yr old little girl the first time he did it. There was a time I wasn't sure I'd ever get it.

Regarding the therapy, I must give a huge thank you to our friend Brenda Hudson for getting it going for us. She took him on as her PT patient then got us our OT as well! She is a big part in all the little victories we have experienced recently. Thank you Brenda!!

Lets do a recap of our Victory list shall we...

Much improved head control
Eats like a champ, up to 6 oz now
Starting on cereal
Found his hands
Better eye tracking
Smiles galore
Ending 2 meds next week
Discovering his personality
Knows his mommy, daddy and big sisters voices
Smiles more with Savy than anyone
Rarely spits up
Lung strength is way up
Can turn his head when on his stomach, when he gets pissed, not all the time, but still much better
Sleeps 10+ hrs each night with one feed usually around 3-4am
Loves mobiles
Holds and shakes his rattle when interested

One other thing, my boy is handsome. Seriously, this kids eyes are more blue than the Carribean. He has slightly wavy dirty blonde hair. A nicely shaped nose and perfect puffy lips. I'm proud. What can I say?!

He loves to be read to, but you better make sure he can see the pictures. He is as strong as an ox. I aint kidding, this kid can almost do pullups!! In a month or two, with all this working out he's getting even stronger.

Momma is fully back to work, and I'm, well, busy. I do wish I had been able to keep the online store we purchased for me to work from home, but as Cash' appointments piled up and some other circumstances arose we sold it. In due time I will be working as Franek Consultings meeting planner, marketing/sales. Hopefully that will happen by the spring.

Savy is at camp, and each day I get the mail hoping for a letter, but no go so far. I sure do miss her, but I'm guessing she's having the time of her life. No time for dear old dad.

Last but not least, we have not forgotten the other babies in the NICU, as well as their parents; hope to start working on our foundation soon.

Thats it folks. Told ya nothing but rabbit farts and fairy burps this go round. Its all good at mi casa.
Oh, and I'm joining the church choir in August. Time to give back.

Peace out yall!