He Smiled At Me!

I have a beautiful daughter, who can make the rain stop with a smile. She has a sweet disposition; happy go lucky and loving. Her little arms wrap around me and I turn into a gooey marshmellow. Nothing compares to a daughter looking up at her daddy and saying those four little words; "I love you daddy!"

There was a time when I didn't think I could love anyone as much as I loved my wife. Then I thought it impossible to love another child as much as I loved Savy. I have been proven wrong, again. I am blessed.

Even with the untimely birth we experienced with Cash, and the stress that has accompanied it, we have been able to find that love only a child can bring you. Its funny how you can spend all day wondering whats going on with your baby's health, praying for good news and excellent care from the docs and nurses; then you go see him and its as if you are standing there alone. Everything else melts away. Comfort comes by seeing him; just being in his presence even. I think God gives these precious little gifts the ability to look at us and say without speaking, "I'm okay."

We talk to Cash when we are there, as if he was able to understand us. I read him the entire 2011-2012 Hunting Guide and Outdoor Annual you get with your license once, just so he could hear my voice.
Savy reads bible stories to him. Kim talks about how they will go for walks and play with our dog Suzy Q. Sometimes we talk to comfort him, but mostly we are comforting ourselves. That being said, we know he can hear us. His numbers are always best when holding him and talking. Comprehension and understanding aside, he loves to know we are there.

The times we visit are special, even after fighting traffic and dealing with the 15 minute park and walk to his bedside. All of the day's stress goes away when we see our little miracle. Its extra special when you get to see him by yourself, and now that I'm holding him it is an amazing experience.  The day before Christmas I held Cash for the first time. I just couldnt bring myself to hold all 16oz or 32oz of him. I waited til he hit 3 lbs. Just too small for my clumsy hands. My brother gave me heck about it, but with all the tubes, bells ringing, whistels blowing, chimes chiming and beeps beeping, I was scared to mees something up. I admit it, I was a wimp.

Now I'm over it, and I look forward to my time holding him. Today at exactly 10:41am I held Cash.
The nurse wrapped him up and I got settled with 2 pillows and eagerly welcomed him into my arms. I stared at him, told him how much I loved him. I also hum and sing to him. Sometimes its a country song, other times its my baby song I wrote for him. Still other times I just hum low and slow, so he can feel me calming him down. There is plenty to sing about these days, as we watch him growing. (Up to 3lbs 9oz!!)

So, far all the stuff we do for him, he returns the favor. We wait for his little arms to wave hi or goodbye, and cant wait to see his pretty blue eyes look at us. Even a sneeze or yawn is perfect to us. But today he gave me the best thing he could. More than all the little things before combined. It weighed in with more importance than all the songs, humming, kisses and holds I could ever give him. In one small second from a smile little mouth, he smiled at me!

Thanks Cash, I needed that.